In this tutorial Robert, an ex-IELTS examiner reviews a band 9 task 2 essay.
You will learn:
- What the examiner is looking out for
- The criteria used to award band 9 in IELTS writing task 2
- A paragraph-by-paragraph review of the sample band 9 essay
- What you need to do to reach band 9 level
Read the question below:
Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
What the examiner is looking out for
This is a classic “discuss both views” essay, ideally suited to a 4-paragraph answer:
- Introduction, where we paraphrase the task and state our point of view.
- Two paragraphs, each devoted to the two sides of the argument
- Finally, a conclusion.
The best and fairest way to grade an IELTS essay is to read it at least twice. The first time to obtain a good overall impression of all four categories namely:
- Task Response
- Cohesion and Coherence
- Lexical Resource
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)
The second time in detail while noting and grading each part using the writing test descriptors.
The criteria used to award band 9 in IELTS writing task 2
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA)
Working in reverse, let’s start with GRA. A Band 9 in GRA states that sentences are essentially error-free, and structured in suitable mixes of the complex and less complex. Verb tenses should be used appropriately and some good examples of, say, conditionals, modal verbs and passives.
- Lexical Resource
Lexical range shows that the writer has a wide and deep vocabulary with proficient use of collocations and the use of some idiomatic phrases.
- Cohesion and Coherence
A Band 9 in cohesion and coherence is when linking words like although and however are used appropriately but never overused.
- Task Response
Task response is measured by the number of ideas and how they are put together. In paragraphs 2 and 3, points are made and supported.
A paragraph-by-paragraph review of Band 9 Task 2 essay
Let’s take this essay example paragraph by paragraph, adding comments with regard to each category, and looking at strong points that are worth mentioning.
Paragraph 1:
Should domestically trained specialists in areas such as medicine and engineering be obliged to pursue their careers in their homeland or should they be given the choice of working abroad? In this essay, I shall discuss both sides of this controversial issue before going on to state why I tend to agree with the need for them to remain in their countries at least in the short-term.
Review
A very strong opening paragraph, paraphrasing the task and then outlining the writer’s views. What makes it a Band 9? Well, the use of the question form in the first sentence is impressive instead of the more common IELTS essay opening of writing a statement. There is also a clear point of view. Vocabulary and cohesion are very well-handled through synonyms: trained specialists for professionals; homeland for their countries; this controversial issue for the two opposing views, to mention just the more obvious features. Both sentences are complex and contain what many consider to be more advanced structures: passives should be obliged to; use of the gerund after the preposition, before going on.
Paragraph 2:
Those in favour of making graduates from these highly skilled professions stay and work in the country where they studied, often stress that the cost of higher education in many countries is subsidised by taxpayers and that thanks to government funding, talented students from any background will be able to realise their potential. The argument, therefore, is that these alumni owe a debt of gratitude to the society that helped them. Furthermore, in many developing countries, the need to maximize all available resources, including the human variety, is of the utmost importance. These countries cannot afford to lose such valuable talent, especially after investing in it.
Review
For Task Response, the number of inter-related, logical points makes all the difference between a Band 6 or 7 and a 9. Here we see how government funding through taxpayers’ contributions is connected to creating opportunities for all and that, in consequence, those benefitted by this should pay that back through work after graduating especially in developing countries that need to use as much local talent as they have available. The grammatical structures, including the use of modality (cannot, will be able to) cohesive devices connecting the points made (therefore, furthermore) along with precise vocabulary (subsidised by, government funding, realise their potential, owe a debt of gratitude, maximise all available resources) showing native-like command of collocation, all make this paragraph a Band 9.
Paragraph 3:
However, there are many who believe that it must be left to the individual to choose whether to stay or re-locate in another country. After devoting years of their lives to study while perhaps neglecting personal relationships and running up considerable debt, seeking opportunities elsewhere to enjoy a better lifestyle and earn a higher salary as well as the chance to further their academic and professional careers, should not be denied. Besides, if there are no restrictions on people from other walks of life, such as those in business or even the arts such as music, dance and acting, from migrating, then why should doctors and engineers be prevented?
Review
Similar arguments as with Paragraph 2 in terms of how the viewpoint is put together through sophisticated vocabulary including idiomatic phrases (people from other walks of life), complex sentence and inobtrusive cohesion (however, besides, then). Sentence complexity and grammatical structures again stand out with modal verbs in the passive form (must be left, should not be denied) and a conditional sentence (if there are no restrictions …).
Paragraph 4
There seem to be valid reasons on both sides of the argument and ideally, everyone should be free to decide where they wish to live and work. However, I believe that particularly in the case of developing countries, professionals in key areas most closely related to development, such as health, engineering and education, must make some kind of contribution even if that might be limited to, say, a minimum of three years’ service to the state upon graduating. 360
Review
The essay concludes by repeating the point of view in more detail through a final complex sentence that again contains fine examples of collocations (valid reasons, key areas, make some kind of contribution).
What you need to do to reach Band 9 Level
If you look through the Band descriptors for each of the 4 parts the examiner is checking, then it does meet all the criteria to score a maximum 9. In order to reach band 9 level in your writing, you must first understand the criteria and ensure your answer meets all the criteria adequately.
Click here for more Sample Band 9 Essays
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