IELTS Writing Task 2: Band 9 Sample Essay

Band 9 Sample answers are useful as study guides for IELTS preparation for the IELTS Writing Task 2 essay – especially for a band 9 IELTS essay. Having access to previously completed work that you can have confidence in will show you what you are missing!

Use the following IELTS sample essay and its explanations to see how close you are to a band 9 in your IELTS writing essay!

IELTS essay task 2: evaluation criteria

Example: Students cannot use phones. They affect development > students are not allowed to use mobile phones in class due to possible distractions.

The British Council (the administrator of the IELTS) outlines 9 different bands of performance for each of the above dimensions here. Your scores in each of these dimensions are averaged to determine your overall band for your essay.

Let's take a look at an example essay that scored as band 9 and then we'll dig into each of these four areas to see why it received that score. It's very important to understand what the IELTS examiner is looking for.

These four criteria are used in our new online essay checker that gives you an estimated band score (free).

IELTS essay sample question (1)

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

IELTS sample essay answer (1)

Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.

A fundamental reason for this is that there is no biological age for reading, and pushing infants to acquire this skill before they are ready could have repercussions. For example, in the UK, many boys are reluctant readers, possibly because of being forced to read, and this turned them off reading. By focusing on other activities and developing other skills such as creativity and imagination, when they are ready to read, they usually acquire this skill rapidly.

In addition, the importance of encouraging creativity and developing a child's imagination must be acknowledged. Through play, youngsters develop social and cognitive skills, for example, they are more likely to learn vocabulary through context rather than learning it from a book.

Furthermore, play allows youngsters to mature emotionally, and gain self-confidence. There is no scientific research which suggests reading at a young age is essential for a child's development, moreover, evidence suggests the reverse is true. In Finland, early years' education focuses on playing.

Reading is only encouraged if a child shows an interest in developing this skill. This self-directed approach certainly does not result in Finnish school leavers falling behind their foreign counterparts. In fact, Finland was ranked the sixth-best in the world in terms of reading.

Despite being a supporter of this non-reading approach, I strongly recommend incorporating bedtime stories into a child's daily routine. However, reading as a regular daytime activity should be swapped for something which allows the child to develop other skills.

Why is this essay a band 9?

Task achievement

According to the IELTS Writing Band Descriptors, an essay is Band 9 for Task Achievement if it:

In order to score well on Task Achievement, the most important thing is to make sure you respond to what is being asked of you. Is the prompt asking for an opinion, a discussion of a problem, a solution to a problem, or some combination of these? If you provide an opinion and not a solution when you're being asked for a solution, you're not going to score well in this area. Read the question carefully!

The prompt for this essay asks: “To what extent do you agree [with the previous statement]? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.” It wants an opinion – with support!

This essay addresses all parts of this task. The opinion is included in the introduction to make the writer's position clear, and then the following paragraphs support the writer's position with examples and justifications. Overall, the response is full and relevant and each of the points is detailed and connected to the thesis.

Coherence and cohesion

Think of this as “How well does the essay flow? Is it easy to follow and does it all tie together?” The exact characteristics for a Band 9 C&C score are that an essay:

Note the specific wording “it attracts no attention.” The goal here is for things to sound natural and not forced. How do you connect your ideas (ensure cohesion) without it sounding forced? I think there are 2 possible ways:

This IELTS Sample essay does a good job of this – you'll notice that each paragraph naturally (logically) follows the one prior, providing additional support for the original opinion, and some simple linking words – in addition, furthermore (both paragraph 2) and moreover (paragraph 3) – are used throughout. These are all good discourse markers that show what is coming next adds to the argument and are slightly more sophisticated than firstly, secondly, and thirdly but don't come across as being forced.

The other aspect to scoring high in C&C is ensuring an essay is well-structured. What do I mean by that? A well-structured essay has a good introduction, body paragraphs that are easy to follow and connect with one another, and a good conclusion. Each body paragraph should also have its own topic sentence and support and then smoothly transition to the next paragraph.

Our sample IELTS essay has a “simple but good” introduction in which it shows that the examinee has knowledge of the topic and clearly states the writer's position to set up the rest of the essay. The paragraphs all have topic sentences, which are then supported by examples, and are easy to follow. The main body and conclusion relate back to the thesis in the introduction.

A note on conclusions… there are two schools of thought when it comes to how to conclude an IELTS essay. One is to conclude with one simple sentence so that you spend more time perfecting your main body paragraphs. The other is to wrap up with two sentences, once which includes a small prediction (ie, how you think things might turn out) as a way to show the examiner that you know how to correctly use another tense (which will help boost your GR&A score – more on that in a minute). Either is fine, just don't forget your conclusion!

Taking time to plan out and organise your response before you start writing is an extremely important step in scoring well in Coherence and Cohesion for your IELTS essay – make sure you do so to ensure your essay is well structured and reads cohesively when you're done!

Lexical resource

Scoring well in the Lexical Resource dimension is all about (correctly) showing off your vocabulary. The description for a Band 9 here is:

Collocations, topic-specific vocabulary and phrasal verbs are the name of the game here. To score well, an examinee needs to show that they have a wide-ranging vocabulary and they know how to use it.

Our sample essay does a solid job of showing off a range of vocabulary – you'll notice that while the essay frequently refers to children, the writer employs different vocabulary (infants, youngsters, offspring, counterparts) to do so.

Note: it is highly likely that you will need to refer to people/children in your IELTS Writing task 2, so make sure that you have lots of different words to use to refer to them.

IELTS examiners do not like to see the words “people,” “children” over and over again! The same goes for the word “important” – make sure you have plenty of alternative phrases (essential and vital are both used in our sample essay).

Other examples of a wide-ranging vocabulary in our essay include using rapidly in place of quickly, mature instead of develop, repercussions to indicate a negative result, and acquire in place of learn.

Our sample essay also does a good job of using collocations – some examples include “fundamental reason,” “reluctant readers” “social and cognitive skills,” “learn vocabulary through context,” and “strongly recommend.”

The correct use of phrasal verbs also demonstrates one's grasp of English – because of the semantics involved, they are sometimes one of the most difficult things for English language learners to master. Our essay writer correctly uses a few of these including “turned them off” and “falling behind.”

One note here: students preparing for the IELTS often ask if they should use idioms (like “you're barking up the wrong tree”) in their essays to further demonstrate their grasp of the language. In my opinion, no, you shouldn't. Idioms are informal by nature and not appropriate for a written essay of this type. Stick with demonstrating your range of vocabulary and your ability to use phrasal verbs correctly!

Grammatical range and accuracy

The final scoring dimension is related to grammar and grammatical structures – do you know them and can you correctly use them?

Note that there is nothing in the scoring criteria about including specific tenses or sentence constructions. Your main objective should be to reduce the number of mistakes that you make. An essay that contains no mistakes is likely to get a 9 for grammar, regardless of the types of sentence that it may or may not contain.

If there is a nice mix of long and short sentences in your IELTS essays, you'll meet the grammar requirements. Remember, as soon as you write a “long” sentence you are naturally going to use connectives (linking words), which will make the sentence ‘compound' or ‘complex'. So, don't think too much about the grammar – just aim to reduce the number of mistakes that you make, and try to include a few longer sentences.

Some examples from the sample essay that illustrate the writer's grammatical range and help it easily score as a band 9 include:

5 Tips for an IELTS writing task 2 band 9 essay

1. Answer what is being asked!

Make sure you read the prompt carefully and answer the essay questions you’re being asked. I can’t emphasise this enough. In order to score well on Task Achievement, you need to appropriately and fully address the task.

2. Plan your work, work your plan.

Plan out your essay before you start writing. What are your main points? What order are you going to make them in? How do they link together? Having a well organised essay is key scoring high marks for Coherence and Cohesion. Many IELTS test-takers will spend up to 10 minutes planning out their essay before they start writing. A few points to keep in mind:

3. Write, review, re-write

Write your essay, review it and then “rewrite” it. Don’t focus on getting things perfect upfront – you don’t want to waste 15 minutes trying to come up with the perfect synonym for something and then not have enough time to finish your full essay! Write your essay first (an unwritten essay won’t score well at all!) and then go back through it to see how you can improve it. Some essay questions to ask yourself at this stage:

4. Where are you falling?

The main goal is to find out which part of the essay writing process is costing you the most amount of time, points or stress.

Personally, the easiest and fastest way to get these skills is to do an online course specialised in training students with these skills. Here is a good course for that.

5. Better language skills?

A lot of students fail the IELTS exam or end up with a band in their IELTS writing test that does not meet their requirements. Also, a significant number of students look to Google to search for “IELTS Writing tips” or “Task two tips”. These tips might be helpful but sometimes the real problem might just be in their general language or writing skills.

Writing error-free perfect sentences is probably much more challenging than students think, especially under exam conditions i.e in 40 minutes with immense pressure to pass. These can result in often mixed outcomes with both positive or negative development occurring at one and the same time.

One of the most important ways to improve language skills is to receive feedback. This can be by asking someone to review written work and will expose the positive or negative development mentioned earlier. This is very common and not something that is a negative issue overall.

Have a look at our essay correction service that will review your essays for you and help you improve and pass the IELTS test.

Here is a checklist of what is needed for reaching Band 9, it includes what the examiner wants to see, and what to do to write at a Band 9 level.

Sample IELTS writing task 2 question (2)

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

IELTS writing task 2: essay sample answer (2)

The global phenomenon of urbanisation from the beginning of industrialisation to the present day has brought opportunity and prosperity, albeit at a cost in the quality of life. With an increasing city population, the complexity of the challenges also increases for the globe as well as the local community. Therefore, the causes and effects of these on the current generation, as well as possible solutions are outlined below.

The causes for the decrease in the quality of life are paradoxically the prosperity endowed on such metropolitan centres. Their growth is largely due to the increase of opportunities on offer, which in turn increases their attractiveness, essentially they are trapped in a positive self-reinforcing cycle. While such developments have a positive impact on immediate economic objectives, it perpetuates behaviours that can have a negative impact in the long term.

However, this eventually leads to a decrease in the quality of life as the city can experience overcrowding, exorbitant property prices, and increased vulnerability to terrorist attacks. For example, the density of London makes it a more efficient place to attack, when compared to a smaller city such as Bradford.

Therefore, due to continuous growth and prosperity, urban citizens, especially the less well off, often experience a lower standard of living. Even greater than this, are the relevant examples of natural disasters such as recent fires in Australia, which brought about unprecedented weather patterns resulting in the destruction of wild and rare animals. These effects are far from uniform, as they affect different countries in ways unseen by previous generations.

Considering the solutions, greater investment in public transport would ease traffic congestion, as would bike lanes. In theory, this would reduce air pollution, and possibly improve the well-being of the population if they did adopt a more active lifestyle and cycle to work. While these solutions are local, if adopted globally, would affect individuals and many countries alike. A collective effort is needed to use social networks and other media to highlight the negative effect of urbanisation as well as the negative sides of the wider ramifications on the population.

To conclude, while it could be argued that urbanisation advantages outweigh the disadvantages, a wealthy city attracts a large population inflow, which then causes pressure on existing infrastructure and security. Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, such as social networks being used to raise awareness of such negative impacts on many countries, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.

Sample IELTS writing task 2 question (3)

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree?

IELTS writing task 2: essay sample answer (3)

Since the introduction of social media applications in the early 2000's the world has become a much smaller place. Social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become information sources for a majority of the global market.

As such, it could be argued that marketing, which happens to be a source of information accessible on these platforms can influence the consumers who use them. This notion is further aided by the rise in online retail stores that conduct the bulk of their transactions online. This makes it easier for the consumer to purchase from anywhere in the world.

As a consumer on social media, you are constantly bombarded with advertisements of various products that are specifically designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren't random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something currently popular or trending. Given the fact that most social media users are young consumers who are influenced by current trends and happenings, these adverts will almost always catch their eye.

The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking also ensure that these adverts get around, quite fast. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already probably seen it on your friend's news feed. The truth is, adverts are a form of information and with the age of the internet, information spreads faster than a wildfire.

Therefore, it only makes sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy, social media marketing can influence what consumers buy.

Useful definitions of advanced vocabulary used

Equivalent sentences

“For example, it is said, the CCTV in London has foiled many potential attacks, and therefore greatly increased the security of its citizens.” Could also be said as:

“Statistics show that CCTV used in London has scuppered many a terrorist plot, massively contributing to the security of its citizens.”

More Equivalent sentences Various solutions exist to mitigate such drawbacks, nevertheless an indefinite solution has yet to be found.

A myriad of partial fixes exist for these issues, yet a permanent solution is still out of reach.

There are many methods employed to quell this flow of people, but still a reliable solution has not been discovered.

IELTS writing task 2: vocabulary booster

The highlighted sections in the following paragraph represent key phrases or words relating to this topic. Study this paragraph to expand your vocabulary knowledge on this topic:

The modern urban environment varies considerably depending on both the city that produces it and the individual who perceives it; Each experiencing a unique blend of at least some economic success, varying degrees of localised or wider deprivation and periods of growth and decline. Environmental factors permitting, a city will provide well for its citizens as long as it can properly manage the execution of social policy.

Globalisation presents many challenges for those responsible for the policy as large inflows of people are to be expected in a place of success and therefore opportunity; The ensuing mixing of cultures has far-reaching social consequences that can affect how the city is both presented and perceived.

Considerably Con·sid·er·a·ble (kən-sĭd′ər-ə-bəl) adj. 1. Large in amount, extent, or degree: a writer of considerable influence. 2. Worthy of consideration; significant: The economy was a considerable issue in the campaign.

Perceive Per·ceive (pər-sēv′) tr.v. per·ceived, per·ceiv·ing, per·ceives 1a. To become aware of (something) directly through any of the senses, especially sight or hearing: We could perceive three figures in the fog. 1b. To cause or allow the mind to become aware of (a stimulus): The ear perceives sounds. 2. To achieve understanding of; apprehend: Einstein perceived that energy and matter are equivalent. 3. To regard or consider; deem: an old technology that is still perceived as useful; a politician who is perceived to be untrustworthy.

Deprivation Dep·ri·va·tion (dĕp′rə-vā′shən) n. 1. The/an act or an instance of depriving; Loss. 2. The state of being deprived: social deprivation; a cycle of deprivation and violence.

“The town’s generally miserable appearance led her to perceive it as a place of considerable deprivation.”

IELTS writing task 2: further reading

You can even read a sample Harvard essay aimed at preparing students for academic writing.

Remember! Select a text that is appropriate for your level. Choosing the wrong text can result in a loss of confidence and feeling bad never helped anyone to learn anything quickly!

Video: Band 9 ex-IELTS examiner essay review

Video: IELTS Writing Task 2-Extremely Useful Sentences

Additional IELTS writing task 2 resources

If you are looking to boost your Lexical Resource (25% of the IDP marking criteria!), then check out this tutorial all about IELTS vocabulary.

Sample IELTS essays for IELTS writing task 2 two can be found here, and sample letters for the general module can be found on this page.

If you are looking for help on how to start IELTS Writing Task 2 – there is a valuable video in this post.

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Alternatively, you may just need to work on your grammatical range and accuracy, so an essay correction will help you identify your errors so you don’t make them again. This site offers economical essay corrections.

IELTS writing essay task 2 Sample Band 8 The writing part of your IELTS exam is a great place to score some extra points, especially if you are looking to score within band 8. Here is a task 2 writing sample to help you do just that.

Vocabulary for IELTS Vocabulary is probably the most important part of preparing successfully for IELTS. It is used for both the speaking and writing part of the exam. Click here to view some essential vocabulary.

General essay topics The IELTS exam has a number of general essay topics that span a number of disciplines ad subject matters. To have an idea of what to expect check out our list of general essay topics.

IELTS Band 9 sample essay