In this tutorial, you’ll learn
- How to easily and simply ‘upgrade’ your IELTS task 2 essay to Band 9 by adding collocations or extra adjectives to your sentences.
- How to use a few idioms to show the examiner you are a really confident writer.
- How to use these adjectives to further develop your ideas which will help you to score highly in for both the Task Achievement and Cohesion and Coherence marking categories.
- How to look at a sample essays and see how these upgrades REALLY CAN TRANSFORM a good essay into a GREAT essay!
This will help you in your IELTS because
- By using collocations you can show the examiner you are using ‘natural and sophisticated English’ which is specified in the Band 9 marking criteria
- You can show the examiner strength in ‘Lexical range and accuracy’ using high level words to develop your ideas.
You can download or listen to the audio version here:
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Daphne: It’s Daphne and I’m one of the new tutors at ieltspodcast.com. Thank you for choosing to listen to this podcast. So, what we’re going to do here is talking about simple upgrades. So, this is how you can easily add to your essay working on the C2 model and algorithm, which lots of you who are doing the course are familiar with.
What you’re going to do is– with these upgrades, just simply add a couple of high-level adjectives or an extra noun at the end of each sentence. This does two things, which IELTS examiners are always looking out for. Number one, they show that you have lexical range and accuracy. This is very important and one of the key criteria. This means that for a band 7, you can show you have a wide range and control of your vocabulary.
The second thing this does is adding these extra words help you develop your argument and show that you totally understand all the aspects of the question. So, in this way, you’re going to score really well on task achievement.
|LET’S UPGRADE A STUDENT’S ESSAY TO BAND 9|
So, in this essay, what we’re going to do is look at a student’s essay and this was a nice essay. It was about 6.5 probably, maybe 6, but very simply, I’m going to show you how we can upgrade it to get a better band score. So, the title of the essay is people are using a lot of online language translation apps. Do the benefits of these outweigh the disadvantages?
Okay, quite a simple title and obviously, very interesting. So, the student starts off with the importance of web-based language translation applications has grown over the past few years. So, very nice use of paraphrasing; hasn’t repeated the same words as are in the question. They’ve used web-based language translation applications, but can we improve that?
So, what I’m going to suggest is that we say the importance of web-based translation app– the importance and popularity of web-based translation applications has grown over the past few years. Why has it grown? So, let’s add in here due to globalization. So, that answers the question why is it such a good thing? Why has it grown?
Next sentence. People from the different geographical areas are vastly using mobile applications to learn and understand a foreign language. Now, we don’t want the word the different geographical areas and we don’t really say vastly using, but we do like the word vastly. That’s quite unusual and quite nice to put in. So, how about this?
People from vastly different geographical zones, educational backgrounds, and cultural beliefs are more inclined to use such mobile applications to learn and understand a foreign language. So, what we’ve done here is rather than saying people from geographical areas, we’re changing it to geographical zones and we’re adding in a bit more here; educational backgrounds and cultural beliefs.
So, not only are we using this lovely power of three so we’ve got three adjective-noun collocations. This shows a sophistication in your vocabulary and it kind of develops the essay as well. So, we’re saying it’s not just people in different places it’s all sorts of different people. Instead of vastly using, we’re going more inclined. That again I think is a nice addition.
And then the next line. So, introducing the essay is I strongly agree that its positives outweigh the negatives. I think we should signal here in this introduction where the essay is going. I’m suggesting I strongly agree that the positive– sorry. I strongly agree that the positives of this development outweigh the negatives.
Now, I don’t use pros and cons. I know some of you do write pros and cons, but I will always correct that because I think it’s too informal and in this essay, I will discuss this using examples of current apps and The Times newspaper or an article in The Times newspaper. So, we just changed that introduction a little bit. We got the same idea as what the student wanted to say, but we’ve added in some words and we’ve added these great collocations.
So, in this first main body paragraph here, on the one hand– this is the student’s sentence– on the one hand, there are ample evidences that mobile phone has given ease to the people’s life. Nowadays, people are migrating to different countries and dealing with overseas companies for business purposes, so learning a second language has become the necessity. Such mobile applications are facilitating them by providing a handy solution to their language barriers.
So, there is lots of nice stuff here. You can probably find– you can probably hear some mistakes, but there’s lots of good stuff here. So, it’s a nice strong topic sentence and it makes an interesting point, but we can upgrade this quite easily.
So, first sentence: On the one hand– now, we should be having there is ample evidence that… Now, instead of saying that mobile phone has given ease to the people’s life, I think we need to just clarify this. So, it’s not really the phone. It’s constant access to… So, constant access to mobile phones, so adding a nice adjective-noun collocation. Constant access and more information– So, I’m suggesting here– has been immeasurably beneficial… So, adverb-adjective collocation– …to both our social lives and business careers.
Rather than– they said people’s life, which should be people’s lives; V-E-S, let’s be specific. What aspect of their life? So, we’re saying social life and business careers. So, you can see that just these little collocations, these little nouns with an adjective are just not only improving your lexis but are developing the whole point of your essay as well. If you develop it fully, you’re going to get a higher mark.
Nowadays, people are migrating to different countries. Now, I’m asking myself why? …and dealing with overseas companies for business purposes. Okay. So, let’s expand this. Nowadays, citizens are migrating to different countries in order to build a new future. Okay, that’s easy. Add that in and it makes a big difference.
…and dealing with overseas companies for business purposes. So, again, let’s explain what’s happening. We’re adding these little clauses in to develop and expand our ideas. So, learning a second language has become their necessity. Now, I like that. Mobile applications are facilitating this. Okay, good. Maybe we can just say how.
So, I’m suggesting such mobile applications are facilitating them, i.e. the people, by providing a handy solution to their language barriers. So, handy solution it’s quite informal, but it does work okay and it sounds quite natural. So, here we go and there’s the example coming up. For example, Play Store and Apple App Store provide ample number of paid and unpaid apps such as Duolingo and there’s a list of the apps.
So, I’m just saying okay, what is so good about these apps? Yes, they provide them, but tell me more. So, my suggestion: For example, Play Store and Apple App Store advertise multiple paid and free-to-use apps such as Duolingo, whatever and then tell me what they do. I’m suggesting which instantly translate– a nice adverb-verb– instantly translate one language into another allowing crucial communication– so adjective-noun– be it social or commercial to happen seamlessly.
So, I’m putting in that nice adverb seamlessly at the end there. So, we’ve just put in, again, same thing we’re doing all the way nice collocations. So, adjective, adverb, verb, adjective-noun or adding an adverb it develops and it shows off. Therefore, it is advent that people’s lives is being made easy through this handy and ready-to-use solutions.
Okay. So, advent; this is not the right word here. We think we mean apparent, so I’m suggesting it is apparent that many key aspects of people’s lives are– plural– being made easier through these handy and ready-to-use solutions. I like handy. I think that’s fine, but use handy and ready-to-use. That’s perfect. Good.
So, coming on here– On the other hand, whether conversion app benefits the public or causes loss to a section of society has been debatable since its inception. Now, be very careful with this since its inception because it’s lightly thrown in without really thinking what does this mean. I’m just always– just kind of check these things that it makes sense. To me, that’s not quite in the right place.
So, here correction: On the other hand, whether language conversion apps benefit the public or cause potential losses to a key section of the– Now, they’re saying a section of society and they’re going to talk about teachers, so what I’m just changing this to is a key section of the education establishment because that’s more specific– is also a controversial topic for discussion. So, has been debatable since inception I’m changing to controversial topic for discussion; controversial meaning that we’re all going to have different opinions on this.
So, the student continues: A recent study has shown that the bilingual teachers or native language tutors have significantly lost their incomes as more people have started to use such apps instead of spending money on the tuitions to learn a new language. Very interesting point, very valid, great example here.
So, let’s just clarify this and tidy it up a bit. A recent study published in The Times newspaper has shown that there has been a… Now, instead of talking about significant loss of income, I’m going to suggest significant reduction in demand for bilingual teachers or native language tutors, okay? So, a significant reduction in demand.
The word significant is such a useful adjective. We can use this in Task 1 on the bar charts and the graphs and it’s also a really nice adjective to have here. The significant reduction in demand for bilingual teachers or native language tutors as more people have started using such apps instead of spending money on the specialist tuition required to learn a new tongue, okay?
So, rather than spending money on tuitions, we’re saying the specialist tuition required. We’re adding in just a simple adjective, specialist, and then that makes it much clearer and it’s another nice adjective to put in.
So, they carry on: For an instance, free apps simply require basic registration details and e-mail verification to register a person as a student and earns through the advertisement. Okay, a little bit unclear that to me. I wasn’t quite sure what that was referring to, but can I suggest this? For instance, free apps simply require basic registration details and e-mail verification to begin compared to the many hours or even years needed to master an additional language to a proficient level of fluency. So, we’re saying the comparison. So, instead of using apps which can translate for you, of course, it’s never going to give you what working with a tutor is going to give you and that’s never going to get you as fluent as all these hours that you’re all spending working on your speaking skills. It’s never going to get you as good as that. So, we’re putting in here compared to the many hours or even years needed to master an additional language to a proficient level of fluency.
So, we’ve got nice collocations: master an additional language and proficient level of fluency. This is all more academic and higher level. So, we’re improving the lexis and we’re also developing our argument more fully. We don’t want the examiner to ask any more questions. We want to give them all the information we possibly can.
As a result, genuine professors and new entrant to the field suffers a lot, right? So, instead: As a result, despite the indisputable benefits of learning face-to-face… So, nice idiom here; learning face-to-face– …with talented and experienced professors– oh sorry. Learning face-to-face here we go talented and experienced professors, translators, and interpreters…
So, we’re not just talking about teachers. We’re saying professors, translators, and interpreters again, using the power of three words here– are having to fight to justify their relevance in this new world. So, justify their relevance in this new world. Good. So, I hope you agree with me that by adding in those three nouns and just changing these words a bit– so rather than saying they suffered a lot, we’re saying they have to fight to justify their relevance in this new world.
So, the conclusion: To sum up and conclude… I don’t think you need to sum up. I don’t like that. I would say to conclude, if the situation favors the online applications, it would be beneficial for the community at large. It really helps people to resolve the issue instantly as and when the support is needed. They will not be required to wait or approach others for the solution.
Now, I can see where this is going. It’s a little bit sort of complicated to read through. The cohesion is a little bit tricky here to understand, so we’re just going to clean this up. To conclude– and it’s nice to have an opinion in here– I believe that if the situation favors the relatively accurate easily accessible use of online translation applications which offer instant and quick solutions, these can be hugely beneficial for the community at large. I’m pausing there because I’m going to carry on. …and in the future, their flexibility and sophistication will continue to be improved.
So, rather than saying if the situation favors the online applications because that’s not very clear, I’m saying if the situation favors the relatively accurate easily accessible use of online translation applications. So, relatively accurate easily accessible. Again, so we’ve got relatively accurate. These are both adverb-adjective collocations. So, we’re putting two words together to make a nice expression which is a collocation. As you know, it recurs often. It’s very natural to people. It makes it easy to read.
…which offer instant and quick solutions. So, rather than just saying it resolves the issue instantly, we’re saying offer instant and quick solutions. This can be beneficial for the community at large and then you put in a nice prediction in here. In the future, their flexibility and sophistication… So, we’re saying these apps are flexible. …flexibility and sophistication will continue to be improved because, as we all know, sometimes when we use translation apps, it does not give you the information that you want.
Okay. So, thank you for listening. I know it’s difficult for you because I can see this essay in front of me and you can’t see it, but I hope just by going through this essay I’ve shown you some really easy ways that you can upgrade your essay. Always think, can I add an adjective here? Can I add two adjectives? Can I have an adverb and an adjective combination? Can I add a compound word?
So, anything you can add in terms of vocabulary will really, really help you and not only as I say in the Lexis but will really, really help your task achievement. So, you need to develop the arguments so the examiner has some no more questions. They understand it perfectly.
So, thank you for listening. Get on board with the course which is brilliant and the essay writing algorithm which Ben talks you through; really, really good and there are lots and lots of other stuff on the website ieltspodcast.com
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